Chapter 4 from “Fully Equipped: Having What It Takes to Give Your All”
For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication: That every one of you should know how to possess his vessel in sanctification and honour; – I Thessalonians 4:3,4
Cultivating Healthy Relationships
The saying is true, “You will become like the people you are around.” Godly influences will aid you as you pursue Christ; ungodly companions will lead you astray. The greatest relationships that will mold your life will be your family and friends. The friends you choose will certainly have consequences. One of the consequences is the life-long decision of a life’s mate. You will marry someone that you are friends with. And if you don’t marry someone who is a Godly friend and influence, you will have many regrets.
Purity is important.
I am thankful to God that I had never done anything inappropriate physically with girls while growing up. But there were times I allowed myself to get emotionally attached. I’ll never forget my dad teasing me when I was 13 years old about a girl that I liked. He said “Puppy love is true to the puppy.” That wasn’t exactly encouraging. Most guys like me are already too shy when it comes to girls. My sisters could say the name of a girl and I would just blush! But that is a good thing. Today, it seems that there is nothing sacred when it comes to guys and gals. It is important to remember Paul’s advice to young Timothy and treat the younger women in the church as sisters.
We must learn how to have healthy relationships.
Although I had my crushes, I always kept relationships at a distance. Thankfully, I had parents that taught me to respect girls and keep my hands to myself. My dad would say, “Don’t tell a girl you love her unless you have a ring to put on her finger!”
Probably the best deterrent to immorality was an article I came across as a young teenager. It was a periodical in the magazine Today’s Christian Preacher. An anonymous pastor who had built a successful church wrote his story. He told how he had become successful, but to the neglect of his wife and family. Before he knew it, he became involved in an affair with a lady he was counseling. Finally, he had to come clean and tell his wife, children, and church.
To imagine the shame and reproach he had brought upon himself made a major impact on my life. This pastor said that his own daughter despised him because of his actions and didn’t want to be around him at all. He had to resign his pulpit and mend his altered marriage. He had lost the trust of his wife and the respect of his friends. I determined that this was not a story I ever wanted to experience myself!
Godly influences
As a freshman in Bible college, I had a some Godly influences in my dorm that gave me some preaching messages by Dr. S.M. Davis about Victory over the Dating Spirit and God’s Plan for a Life’s Mate. These radically impacted my thinking in learning to wait on God’s timing to bring me a spouse. But I needed to focus on becoming the man of God I needed to be while in college, not trying to figure out which girl I should marry! While a sophomore I wrote a pamphlet about the Overlooked Gift: the Season of Singleness and distributed it to my friends to help create healthy relationships.
I learned that a strong foundation for marriage begins before the wedding. It is so important that you be faithful to your spouse now even before you are married! Remember that habits are established early, and are not easily broken. If you develop a wandering eye and a flirtatious spirit now, you will no doubt carry these actions into your married life. This is not a healthy recipe for a happy relationship!
Happy healthy and relationships
I realized. early on that not everyone at Bible college is there to serve the Lord. Those of various interests find each other quickly. You will be attracted to others who share similar interests as you. Be sure that you cultivate healthy relationships with those who will encourage you to be Godly and challenge you to do what is right! Those friends in my dorm also influenced me by their testimony to participate in a wonderful summer outreach called Neighborhood Bible Time.
Neighborhood Bible Time
Some of the best practical ministry training I received in college was traveling with Neighborhood Bible Time for two summers. The veteran evangelists taught us many helpful skills like balloon art and juggling. We had much interaction with pastors and working alongside the teachers; most importantly, we were taught how to deal with children and present the Gospel. We saw literally hundreds of professions of faith and made many friends in these churches. Some of those same churches now support our family.
There were about fifty evangelists who had been recruited from seven different colleges. We were trained at Boulder, Colorado for a three-week period before being paired up and sent to churches for week-long rallies. This intensive instruction not only prepared us for the games, lessons, and leadership, but helped us grow in our personal walk with the Lord. We were challenged to examine ourselves that we would be emptied of self-dependence, be clean in our heart, and filled with the Spirit for fruitful service.
Meet the “Boss”
Charles “Boss” Homsher, founder and director for 50 years, led us in his militaristic style. The training was at an old church building with two floors. Our bunks, restrooms, and kitchen were down in the basement. We would awake at 5 am and go upstairs “top side” for calisthenics. Then we would each get alone to find a quiet place to spend with God. This was such a special time, during which we would sing, pray, and read God’s Word, along with reading a book by Roy Hession entitled Calvary Road.
Personal Daily Direct Devotion Renewal
This quiet time was called PDDDR (Personal Daily Direct Devotion Renewal). We were challenged to “keep it sweet till Jesus comes, and receive rewards at the Bema Judgment”.) We would be alone for an hour before we would convene for breakfast and cleaning duties. Being close to several other young men and being preached to for that period of time was a maturing time in our lives. We were truly brought to a place of brokenness that we might be truly dedicated to the Lord. We would have opportunities to confess sin and be accountable to one another in the Lord. What a sweet time of nurturing that was and building healthy relationships.
At the end of the training, we learned who our partner was and our destination. My first summer would include travelling to Michigan, North Dakota, Texas, Massachusetts, and Maryland. The first rally made a lasting impression as we were at a country church in Southern Michigan. I would teach the primary and junior children for three hours in the morning. That was followed by lunch and a brief nap. Then we would go canvass the neighborhoods with the teenagers inviting them to join us in the evening. We finished the evening with our senior high teen rally.
Destination Unknown
The final night we had a “Destination Unknown” meeting at someone’s house. They had a mud pit they actually dug and filled with water for games. After tube pull and tug o’ war, everyone hosed down and went in to change. There were about 60 people that gathered around a campfire where each of us young evangelists got to preach our lungs out while standing on the back of a pick up truck! We counseled with several teenagers who made some wonderful decisions. That was an exciting beginning to an incredible summer of ministry. Many great friendships were formed that week and throughout the summer. In fact, some of those churches would support our family years later when we went to the foreign mission field!
A week of rest
During the week of July fourth, all the evangelists would convene back in Boulder, CO for a week of Rest and Relaxation. One day, we drove up to a mountain, where we hiked to the top. About a dozen of us made it to the peak where we got to sign a paper guarded in a plastic tube noting our accomplishment. What a view it was seeing snow-topped peaks for 360 degrees! We then proceeded to slide down some of the snow patches…which would abruptly turn into fields of large rocks! In fact, I got carried away and couldn’t stop sliding, until I was jolted headfirst into a boulder! Praise the Lord, I only got some scratches and was able to hike the rest of the way back down.
A Godly testimony
I am so grateful for those who God brought into my life to influence me by their Godly testimony as a freshman in college. I am glad for the opportunities to grow as a minister of the Gospel and be surrounded by good servants of the Lord. You will enjoy my blog ten guidelines for guys and gals that will help you keep your focus on the Lord while you are single! You must start laying the foundation for a strong marriage now by building healthy relationships! No doubt one of the primary reasons I am still serving the Lord all these years later is because of the healthy relationships God has blessed me with to encourage me to keep pure and continue walking in the light! Cultivate healthy relationships with Godly people!
Please watch the video below about the importance of keeping yourself pure! You may also order my book Keep Thyself Pure here on Amazon!
About the author:
Luke graduated from Crown College of the Bible in 2003. He married Jamie in July of 2006. God has blessed them with five children. Together they had the privilege of serving in the pastorate of a Baptist Church in Florida from 2007-2011.
In August of 2011, our family began our journey to serve the Lord as labourers among Unreached People Groups in Asia. We prepared ourselves at Baptist Bible Translator’s Institute in Bowie, Texas. During that time, God directed our path to work among the Tibetan people in the country of Nepal.
In February of 2014, we moved to Kathmandu, Nepal and experienced God’s work of grace and protection upon our family. We had the privilege to serve at the Crown Nepal Bible College. Teaching classes and preaching at youth conferences was a great opportunity for our family. We also were able to assist in outreaches to villages of the Tamang and Gurung people.
In 2021, we moved to Tampa, Florida. We currently are serving in our home church Southside Baptist Church and teach in the Christian Academy. Luke continues his writing ministry (www.pilgrimoftruth.com) and video messages on his YouTube channel (Pilgrim of Truth). His goal is to aid believers in making Christ known to the world. He continues to seek to assist churches in America. His heart’s desire is to help meet the needs of the unreached people groups in the world.
