This blogpost is adapted from a message I prepared years ago and preached at a pastor’s fellowship meeting. As a young pastor myself, I had already seen the devastation that immorality can cause to marriages and ministries. I have added some applicable stories and material that I have acquired since that time.
Morality in the Ministry is a chapter from my book Keep Thyself Pure: Biblical Principles and Practical Examples.
Several years ago, in the magazine Today’s Christian Preacher, there was a featured article by a former pastor entitled “Broken Lives, Shattered Dreams.” Though written anonymously, his story could be repeated by countless other preachers. He tells how he was raised in church. After becoming a pastor, he started to let his guard down while alone with his secretary. In his own words, “I had begun to make mistakes that will haunt me for the rest of my life.” He goes on to say, “I never thought it would be me. Who among us does? I was so sure that I would not succumb to moral temptation… The adulterous relationship, which lasted several months, ended as quietly as it had been conducted. Only we two knew. However, God was not about to let me go unpunished.”
Moral Honor brings Marital Happiness
Hebrews 13:4,5 – Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Here we find the topics of fidelity and contentment found together. Marriage is a blessing from God and is the only proper place for a physical union between a man and a woman. Contentment can only be found in Christ and when we honor God in our faithfulness to our spouse. He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing. (Prov.18:22) We must learn to be content with the spouse God has given us.
The Definition of contentment is “happy enough with what one has or is; not desiring something more or different; satisfied.”
Proverbs 5:15-18 – Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Rejoice with the wife of thy youth; find satisfaction from her at all times; be ravished (enraptured) always with her love. Have no reason to get entangled with the strange woman. Of course, everything God has blessed and meant for good has been attacked by the devil. Everything about intimacy that is pure and holy when taken out of its proper context becomes perverted and defiling. Today, the home is under attack like never before, and Christians are the most desired targets of the Wicked One. For Satan, marriage is his hunting territory—seeking to destroy what God has designed.
Proverbs 6:24-26, 33, 34 – To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman. Lust not after her beauty in thine heart; neither let her take thee with her eyelids. For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. A wound and dishonour shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away. For jealousy is the rage of a man: therefore he will not spare in the day of vengeance.
Adultery and Fornication have increased and found a place of acceptance in many churches. Divorce is the natural consequence and children suffer from a broken home. Children are more likely to follow their parent’s example and fail in their marriage. Moral purity is an area where we must win as parents and Christian leaders! Pastors especially will be Satan’s targets.
The Christian counselor and preacher, Jim Binney, sat down on his airline seat next to an attractive lady. When the stewardess offered her food, she turned it down; she was fasting, she said. He asked if she was a Christian, to which she replied, “I worship Satan and am fasting to gather the power I need to seduce a well-known pastor in Dallas.” We are at war. Remember we have an adversary Satan, who is as a roaring lion, walking about seeking whom he may devour. Be vigilant: prepare for battle.
In Hosea 1:2, the prophet Hosea was instructed to marry a woman of whoredoms. He had a son by her and then sees her return to her wicked lifestyle. As a dog returneth to his vomit, so a fool returneth to his folly. (Proverbs 26:11) Hosea pleads with his unfaithful wife to return to him in Hosea 2:1-7. Finally, she comes to the place where she realizes she had it better with her husband than the horrible situation she was in now.
The grass is never greener on the other side of the fence. There is no woman that can please a husband like his own wife. There is no man that can fulfill the needs of a woman like her own husband. Any other woman besides your wife is “strange flesh.” Forbidden fruit will only bring a curse to your soul and destroy your flesh. Like sin, she will provide pleasure for a season, but the end is always death. The best she has to offer is a lifetime of regret, sorrow, heartache, and a scarred memory in exchange for a few moments of self-gratification. If you fail to find fulfillment in your spouse, you will begin fantasizing about someone else’s spouse. Never compare your spouse with anyone else; just find contentment in your mate God has given you.
Private Sin becomes Public Scandal
Everyone has a secret life. It is either pure and holy or worldly and defiling. Jesus spoke about the Secret life of the righteous. Those who give to others, pray to God, and fast in secret will be rewarded openly by our heavenly Father. If we do these things honestly and consistently in private, we will be more likely to overcome temptation and stay pure.
But private sin has ruined many good families and ministries. Many good men have gone the way of the seductress to their own destruction. In the Bible we read stories of Judah and Tamar, Samson and Delilah, and David and Bathsheba. Every time, the consequences brought devastation and death.
James 1:14-16 – But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err, my beloved brethren.
Satan loves to tempt God’s man in immoral areas because it works. We must not permit our minds to wander the avenues of sensuality (pornographic magazine racks and internet sites). Don’t feed the craving appetite of lust. You must have victory in this area if you will retain your integrity and remain in the ministry. Guard your secret life.
The prophet Nathan revealed to David that his sin of adultery had displeased the Lord. Even though David had repented and was forgiven, his sin sown in secret would be reaped with a public harvest of consequences.
II Samuel 12:9-12 – Wherefore hast thou despised the commandment of the LORD, to do evil in his sight? thou hast killed Uriah the Hittite with the sword, and hast taken his wife to be thy wife, and hast slain him with the sword of the children of Ammon. Now therefore the sword shall never depart from thine house; because thou hast despised me, and hast taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be thy wife. Thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will raise up evil against thee out of thine own house, and I will take thy wives before thine eyes, and give them unto thy neighbour, and he shall lie with thy wives in the sight of this sun. For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun.
The sin with Bathsheba was in secret. David had tried to cover it up by murdering her husband Uriah. But God said He would expose his sins publicly in II Samuel 12:12. This prophecy of Nathan came true through David’s firstborn son Absalom. II Samuel 16:33 says, So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house; and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel. The sin that David did secretly was repeated by his son publicly. Be sure your sin will find you out. The temporary pleasure of sin for a season, left David with a lifetime of regrets. In Psalm 51, He confessed his sin and begged for the joy of his salvation to be restored.
Psalm 90:8 – Thou hast set our iniquities before thee, our secret sins in the light of thy countenance. As someone has said, “Secret sin on earth is open scandal in heaven” …and it certainly becomes open scandal on earth too!
I will never forget an unusual church service I attended as a young teenager. My dad was the pastor. A family was visiting that day. In fact, it was the wife of a former pastor of the church! She had asked my dad for permission to speak to the church that morning. Publicly she confessed her sin of adultery while her husband had been pastor. She had lost her testimony, her marriage, and church family as a result of her sin. She asked the people to forgive her. It was very somber, and many tears were shed that day. Yet no amount of remorse could change what had happened. Her life and her family would never be the same. Moral integrity will bring honor and happiness, but the devastating consequences of immorality include shame and reproach.
You must keep yourself pure if you want to stay eligible for the highest calling. God’s holy calling comes with the highest qualifications. I Timothy 3 gives a list for those who desire the good work of a bishop (overseer) in the church. The first qualifications are found in verse 2: He must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behavior.Surely each of these may be interpreted in view of keeping one’s self pure! Many servants of God have great ability and personality. But the greatest area to guard is one’s purity and morality. You can always improve in your studies, speaking ability, and administration. But a tarnished reputation is hard to retrieve. Restoring trust after you have crossed the boundaries of immorality will take a long time. Keep thyself pure.
I remember visiting a church and helping them invite visitors to their services. The pastor had an affair several years before and it was public knowledge. His wife had forgiven him, and they moved forward together. But the people in the community never forgot. While knocking on a door, and inviting the house owner to church, the lady said to me, “I’m not going to a church where the pastor is an adulterer!”
However, as hard as it may be to overcome the public humiliation of one’s sin, victory is possible. I know a pastor who had forfeited his position in ministry because of personal sin. Years earlier he had become addicted to this sin, and when under much stress in the ministry, he had a time of weakness and was in a place of temptation. He succumbed and left the ministry wondering if God would ever use him again.
After repenting, there was a time of restoration and reconciliation. After proving himself faithful, he was given the opportunity to return to the pastorate of the same church he had to leave years earlier!
Remember God wants to show mercy rather than judgment. He prefers restoration over rejection. In Galatians 6, the spiritually mature Christians are exhorted to reconcile fallen brethren when they have repented. Though some sins may limit a person to what positions they hold or restrict them from some opportunities, God is good and still wants to use them!
Consider the men with whom God made a covenant in the Old Testament. He chose to replenish and bless the earth through them. Even after God made a promise to them, each of these men sinned. They each suffered consequences for their actions, but God still used them. God still fulfilled his promise to them and did not reject them. Let us look briefly at Adam, Noah, Abraham, Moses, and David.
Adam, who was the first gardener and overseer in God’s new creation, was the first to disobey. God cast him and Eve out of the Garden of Eden. But Adam was still the first husband and father on this earth. Adam and Eve went on to reproduce and God gave a Godly line through their son Seth.
Noah found grace in God’s eyes during a time where wickedness was exceedingly great on the earth. God spared his family when flooding the earth with water. God promised through his sons the world would be inhabited. Never again would there be world-wide flood. Noah got drunk and was shameful before his family, and specifically a stumbling block to Ham. As a result, Ham was cursed. Yet God still used Noah.
Abraham was impatient to have Isaac, the son of promise by Sarah. He ill-advisedly had a son with his handmaid Hagar. What grave consequences resulted since then with the wars between the descendants of Ishmael and Isaac. Yet God still fulfilled His promise in giving Sarah a son. Even though Abraham had sinned, God has blessed the nations of the earth through Isaac.
Moses was the deliverer of the Israelite nation from Egypt. Moses killed a man in his anger and hid. God still used him to lead Israel through the wilderness. He could not enter the promised land because he had sinned in smiting the rock a second time when instructed only to speak. But God still used Moses in a great way and gave him the Ten Commandments.
David was promised to have an everlasting kingdom. Through his seed Jesus would be born. David sinned grievously by his adultery and murder. He suffered greatly with the consequences that followed also. Yet God fulfilled His promise and preserved his seed.
If you are a preacher and have sinned, be encouraged. God has a place of service for you still. I know a man who grew up as a missionary kid. He became a pastor in the same country in which his dad had ministered. Sadly, this man committed adultery and returned to America. As is often the case, most people rejected him. Perhaps, they did not know how to help him. However, he heard about a church with a ministry that ministers to fallen preachers. They welcomed him and helped him heal. He repented of his sin, and found forgiveness in Christ. He was restored and soon began a new ministry in the field of missions. Since he is bi-lingual, he is able to preach in churches in many countries. He has cast the vision for churches to send families from non-American countries into the Middle East and other dangerous countries where white skin does not fit in. God has used this restored servant in such a great way for His own glory. Oh yes, he and his wife have moved forward victoriously by God’s grace.
Overcoming Temptation begins with Obeying Truth
II Timothy 2:22 – Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
We must avoid adultery, flee fornication, and youthful lusts. Job did this proactively. He feared God, lived righteously with his house, and eschewed evil (he took adamant action against sin.) He hated sin and had no room for it. He truly called on the Lord out of a pure heart. In Job 31:1, Job says, I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?
The flesh is too strong for anybody to overcome. This is why Paul instructs Timothy to “Flee youthful lusts.” He did not say “Fight youthful lusts.” He said “Flee.” Some battles cannot be won. The only way to overcome temptation to the flesh is by fleeing. In James 4:7, the command is given to “Submit yourselves therefore to God, resist the devil, and he will flee from you.”
But notice the word “therefore”. We must look to the previous verse to learn who will submit to God and resist the devil. We find written, “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” The person that is proud and unwilling to admit he has a problem with the “lusts that war in your members” (James 4:1) will not take action to protect himself from temptation. It requires humility to have accountability.
David learned from his sin. In Psalm 101:1-3, he determined, I will sing of mercy and judgment: unto thee, O LORD, will I sing. I will behave myself wisely in a perfect way. O when wilt thou come unto me? I will walk within my house with a perfect heart. I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me.
Beware of television programming, videos, and the internet. Solomon wrote in Proverbs 23:7, “For as he [a man] thinketh in his heart, so is he:. . .” Jesus said in Matthew 5:28, “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
I once worked with a man who had been active in a local church in town. He was a nice man, but he fostered an impure secret life that changed his life forever. He became desensitized to the sensuality that permeated his television screen. He considered it normal and didn’t restrain his senses. He not only permitted the sensual pleasure, but enjoyed it…and thought it was normal. He failed to see the trap Satan had him in.
He had pornographic material on his computer and some children accidentally saw it. He was reported to the police and put in jail. His unrestrained flesh led him down a path that took him to one of the worst state prisons for at least two years. Now he is branded a child sexual offender for life. After serving time in prison, he finally returned home. He was embarrassed, devastated, and even considered suicide. He had brought a reproach on His Lord and family. His wife no longer will live with him and he will never return to life as he knew it.
Surprisingly, he admitted that the first night after he had been arrested and put in jail, that it was his first good night’s sleep in a couple years. He had been deceiving everyone else other than the Holy Spirit. He was miserable and in a prison of his mind already. You can’t cover sin and enjoy peace from God. Thankfully, he repented, and God has been slowly healing and restoring him.
One of the most interesting things that came out of this was after he had returned home from the state penitentiary. Some of his family members were at his house watching a movie. He told me that he had to leave the room. Others asked him what was wrong. He said it was movies like that that had influenced him to start viewing pornography and resulted in his imprisonment. He was appalled at how desensitized and accepting Christians have become toward viewing “light pornographic” material in the name of entertainment.
Sexual sin can destroy your marriage and ministry. Immorality will ruin your reputation. The consequences are so great; the price you will have to pay is always higher than you bargained for.
At the beginning of this chapter a pastor is quoted as having an adulterous affair that ruined his life. He said, “It is difficult to put into words how hard it is to live life as a deceiver…Though things have improved, they are far from where God wants them to be.”
Take proactive measures to winning the battle of moral purity in your marriage. Avoid the pitfalls that led to the moral downfall of this former pastor. He admitted, “I was too interested in what other preachers thought. I did not bridle my thought life. I minimized spiritual warfare. I became willing to succeed in ministry at the expense of failing in my marriage. I was image conscious, but did not deal with root sins in my heart.”
Conclusion: Remember that without purity, it is impossible to enjoy the presence of God and experience the power of God. May God make us more determined than ever to be Christians who stay pure in the pastorate and live morally in the ministry. Below is a video I made to provide some Biblical help for those hurting from a sinful past.
About the Author
Luke graduated from Crown College of the Bible in 2003. He married Jamie in July of 2006. God has blessed them with five children. Together they had the privilege of serving in the pastorate of a Baptist Church in Florida from 2007-2011.
In August of 2011, our family began our journey to serve the Lord as labourers among Unreached People Groups in Asia. We prepared ourselves at Baptist Bible Translator’s Institute in Bowie, Texas. During that time, God directed our path to work among the Tibetan people in the country of Nepal.
In February of 2014, we moved to Kathmandu, Nepal and experienced God’s work of grace and protection upon our family. We had the privilege to serve at the Crown Nepal Bible College. Teaching classes and preaching at youth conferences was a great opportunity for our family. We also were able to assist in outreaches to villages of the Tamang and Gurung people.
In 2021, we moved to Tampa, Florida. We currently are serving in our home church Southside Baptist Church and teach in the Christian Academy. Luke continues his writing ministry (www.pilgrimoftruth.com) and video messages on his YouTube channel (Pilgrim of Truth). His goal is to aid believers in making Christ known to the world. He continues to seek to assist churches in America. His heart’s desire is to help meet the needs of the unreached people groups in the world.
